Real Time: Thursday, 24th January 2019.
Have you noticed how comfy we are with our booty calls ‘cause we’re not trying to impress them in any way, we don’t “care” what they think of us, someone that you’re not scared to be around or free around because you’re scared you might “lose” them if you’re “too” yourself, someone that you’re not scared to say NO to at that present moment. Try to carry that demeanour throughout, even when meeting a new person that you really like and a potential.
Be yourself, the freedom that comes with just being you. We lose ourselves pulling so many personalities based on where we are, who we’re with, who we’re trying to impress etc, we care too much… we give too many fucks as Mark Manson said.
Meeting someone who’s still battling with who they are is baffling and I for one cannot comprise my growth in knowing who I am to end up with someone who’s still battling with who they are, pure setback! Okay, yes they say we can never entirely say that we know 1 hundred percent who we are, that “I know myself line”, as we change our minds all the time. What’s important is knowing where you come from and where you are presently as you are becoming the best version of YOU every single day ’til the day you perish, you’ll forever learn and unlearn certain things about yourself and that’s where the “I know myself” part comes in.
My mother doesn’t and wouldn’t understand this concept of a booty call/consensual relationship, she would and labels it as Whoring. By the time I was 22 years old, she’d tell me how she was already married at my age and how my dad is the only man she’s ever been with… you know what this means.
I feel like that’s officially betraying and robbing yourself of life, (my opinion) but hey she comes from a different generation. They were forced if not persuaded into such decisions. She had my big brother whilst still in high school, separated from my dad for whatever reason for about a year she says, but was later on persuaded by her parents to go back and marry the father of her child (my dad wanted her back and later in life divorced my mom for a much younger woman) as it is what is expected of her.
She also once shared with me about having flashbacks on the day her older sister, who’s now in her 80s was getting married at age 16, how she was weeping and crying. She was forced to marry a man that she didn’t want or love, an arranged marriage. My mom says she was very young and, the memories of her sister on the day that’s supposed to be a woman’s happiest day still stuck with her ’til this day and how everything only made sense for her as she grew older.
They were forced to create a new life of getting married and bearing children without having to have lived their OWN lives first. But we have it different. Don’t rob yourself of love or life. Don’t just get married for the sake of just. I have friends and family members who’re in marriages that want out already solely because of our sick and not well thought out values.
To be continued…