Real Time: 29th January 2019.
We keep different kinds of friends in our lives for different reasons. There are those friends who will go all out to help you without showing any signs of weariness and, there are those friends who will not even try to see if there’s an alternative or if they can bend the rules a bit to assist you.
The ones who’re always willing to assist do so immediately and without any hesitation partly ‘cause they know that you would do the same. The ones who’re always making excuses as to why they can’t help, will not even try and find ways to assist ‘cause they don’t have the time or your problems are simply none of their business.
Mind you, I don’t even like bothering my friends (I’d rather bother my big brother), if I reach out to you know that I had already tried everything I could on my side and now I’m left with no option but seek for external help. And anyway what’s the point of friendship if we cannot lend a helping hand to each other more especially if we are able?
Let me tell you what I’ve noticed between these two… actually three types of friends:
1. Helpful friends: A whole lot of them are somewhat ”successful”, always ready and willing to assist a friend to the best of their ability, they are winning in everything they put their mind to, they are winning at life and want to see you winning as well. They have your back.
2. None helpful friends: Always full of excuses, always ready to dismiss the idea of assisting you, they are excusitis as David Schwartz calls them. I’ve also noticed that this behavior has also taken over their lives, it has spread and has become a disease in their lives to live and breathe excuses.
3. And there are those “special ones”, who have studied the kind of a person you are, that you worry or feel shitty if they offload their problems to you and they know that no matter what, you’ll think for them, you’ll solve their problem, you’ll put your yourself in an uncomfortable position just to help and save them. They don’t even ask for help, they just tell you what the problem is in a form of simply confiding in you knowing exactly that you’ll jump and offer to help. I suffered a lot from this all my life actually, it is one of the characters of an empath.
I think number 3 compared to number 2 is the worst! With number 2, most probably they haven’t noticed their bad habits, haven’t noticed what they are doing as it’s also they’re way of unconscious and subconscious living, full of excuses. But number 3, they are fully aware of their behavior, I don’t know what to call them, selfish or “con-artists”.
Since I’ve discovered this, my time and energy will therefore be reserved for those friends who reciprocate.