EPISODE 24: LOSING A BEST-FRIEND OVER HONESTY

I wrote this piece 4 years ago and I felt the need to embrace my old writings, to remind myself that I’ve been doing this. Ask me what I regret the most and I’ll tell you that I regret burning my diaries during my teenage years, biggest regret actually.

What inspired and triggered this is that a few days ago (Wednesday, 12 June 2019) I came across this Tweet below and it reminded me of a best-friend I once adored wholeheartedly. I do think about her now and then and smile. I remember how much I was hurting, chest-paining but after a while I felt much lighter and felt weight being lifted off my shoulders. I felt really great!

People will always come in your life and those who will leave will and those who’ll stick around will, simple.

Real Time: Monday, 13th July 2015.

I came across a Tweet yesterday about being 100% real with your friends, I recently tried this & lost a best-friend.

I sat down trying to figure out if what I did was wrong or if she was just scared or was made uncomfortable ’cause I dished out the truth and she chose to exit. Her argument was that I was too harsh, I think I was just too honest, laid it on the table the way it was and went straight to the point.

She has always had power over me through-out the years of our friendship, and other people close to me would tell me this, did not see it… She has always been honest and brutal with me over the years, & that was one thing I loved & appreciated about her. There were many days when I would take offence but just keep it in knowing that it comes from a good place and reckoned that friendship should be about HONESTY.

The very first & one time after all these years of always been under her and having been too sensitive to be brutal with her, she cut me off her life. What could have caused that?

1. I bet she was shocked that I came on to her like that for the very first time.

2. I bet she was not ready for the truth and did not value my honest opinion as a friend as she has always felt that she had the right to say anything to me.. I was not right I was not wrong, that is how I felt at the moment.

3.  She could not handle me being her at that very moment… At that very moment, I felt that I was in a friendship that has always over powered me, I was literally going through a moment of epiphany.

4. Most of the time I felt that I could not do anything without her & she knew it, I ‘needed’ her in everything I planned, every idea I had, to some degree I did not have an identity without her.

5. I remember her mentioning something like “now she knows how & what I think of her”.

Be careful not to lose your identity in any form of a Relationship.

To be continued…

Boitumelo "Salad" Ikaneng

Boitumelo’s purpose is to encourage daily self empowerment and consciousness based on & through her true life events. Authenticity represents freedom. I read, write & advocate a healthy & fitness lifestyle. For me, writing is a form of spiritual act. I thoroughly & genuinely enjoy writing about my real life Episodes to connect with the souls that are “lost” and trying to find a way of becoming. I am a recovering addict and would like to help cure idling. Let’s find the remedy together through COMMITMENT, CONSISTENCY,PERSISTENCE & PERSEVERANCE. I am a story teller of my own life and, I will throw in and sprinkle some motivational personal experiences…. & Every Little Thing. “People are much more alike than they are different.” David J Schwartz Follow my journey to a never ending story…

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